My husband and I have been married for over twenty years. He is nine years older than I am. He was thirty four and I was twenty five when we were married. We have had many happy and wonderful times as well as some sad times. Through them all we have continued to put our relationship ahead of everything else that life tosses our way. We found out after we were married for a short while that we could not have children. This was difficult, but we adjusted and built a comfortable life for the two of us. We struggled through the sudden death of my brother as well as the death of my father. We each changed jobs several times and we have owned three homes. I was diagnosed with a chronic form of arthritis. For the past three years my husband has struggled with depression and anxiety. We are still living together but this has been the greatest struggle of our lives.
Unlike the physical illness I have my husband’s illness is difficult for others to understand. People do not want to talk about or hear about mental health issues. There is still the stigma that a person with depression and anxiety should just snap out of it. It is hard to understand something that you have not experienced yourself. For my husband the depression and anxiety are part of his diagnosis of post traumatic stress disorder. He was in the army and served in Viet Nam when he was twenty years old. He has never talked very much about his military time. He did get involved in heavy drug use when he first got out of the army. He went through chemical dependency treatment when he was thirty years old and has maintained his sobriety for all these years. He has not struggled with depression and anxiety or any of the other symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder until three years ago.
We are not sure what triggered this for him. We are both learning more about the disorder through reading as well as being involved with group meetings at the veteran’s administration hospital. He has been placed on medications for the depression and anxiety, however he does not like the way he feels while taking them. The psychiatrist that is prescribing the medications has tried different kinds with my husband over the three years, however he has not found the best combination yet. My husband continues to work however the depression and anxiety make it difficult for him to be as effective as he was in the past. There is no cure for his disorder; he needs to learn techniques to help control the depression and anxiety.
